COMEDY, PURE COMEDY

I’ve made it to america! I’m currently sitting in the JFK airport in New York. And I honestly cannot believe I made it. I started traveling at 4.30am ireland time… So I’m at 14 hours of travel now. And why am I hanging my head in shame? In utter disbelief?

Well let me tell you about my day thus far… picture it… I wake up at 4am to change my clothes, pack my last essentials, and grab a cab to downtown galway to catch a bus to dublin. Unfortunately, I am out of my apartment and two flights of stairs with 3 bags, 1 duffel, and my purse in the rain. (My theory is ireland was crying that I was leaving, right?)

The cab driver doesn’t see my struggle for far too long but he finally gets out of the cab and helps me with my bags. He is a sweet man and helps me into the bus station.

Then fast forward 3 1/2 hours and I’ve made it to the dublin airport. Except they are very suspicious of me because I changed my ticket two times now. They make me, and my family of luggage, bounce back and forth between two different desks two times. And then the lady tells me I should pay for my extra two checked bags in cash. So I go to the atm and withdraw said funds. Said insanely expensive funds. Then she weighs my bags. Uh oh. Two of the three are 8lbs over. I say, “Oh its okay I’ll just pay.” and she looks me up and down and says “Oh okay, it’ll be 400 euro.”

So after I pick my jaw up from the floor I start frantically moving things from my suitcases into my previously lightly and efficiently packed carry-on. While this is going on, a line is forming. and I start feeling so terrible for everyone else. And so now, I am flustered and red.

THEN, I go to pay in cash and she says “Oh, no you pay in cash at the OTHER desk. here it’s by card.” The desk I’d already been to. The desk with a big line. so I look around, panic, and hand her my debit card. Which I know doesn’t have enough money because I just withdrew half my life savings to pay for extra luggage. But it goes through and I sprint away.

so now i’m carrying around my purse which is so full with random items of clothing it won’t close and my duffel that cannot zip because shoes are sticking out of it. and i have to rush straight to security because “they are having a really busy day.”

And remember how it was raining earlier in the morning? Well as I am wearing my huge, hunter rainboots water trickled down my boots and well, just stayed there for the morning. So now my calves are drenched with water and when I take my boots off my jeans are literally two different colors. This is when people begin to stare. then, I realize I have a water bottle in my duffel, take it out to throw it away but not before spilling it all over myself. Now, it looks like I have sweaty calves and I peed my pants.

I may be imaging things but at this point I think I can honestly hear people pointing and laughing at me. But I hold my head high and march through security like it’s the cool thing to be wet in the crotch and calves. And then, I take off my jacket. And my shirt is inside out. So I give up. I am tore up from the floor up. I am a hot mess. Literally. I’m so embarrassed at the entire morning that I start sweating and fanning my face with my hat. After 1 1/2 of standing in line and going through customs, I finally make it to the bathroom and repair some of the damage that I have done to myself.

Luckily, this embarrassing fiasco is pretty exhausting and when I finally get onto the plane, I pass out for at least half of the trip. Now i’m finally feeling better, because in this airport, nobody knows what happened earlier in the day… or at least I hope they don’t…

if you’re lucky enough to laugh at your obnoxious misfortune, you’re lucky enough

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